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justmereshawn@hotmail.com
Merely just a coming-of-age boy who's embracing the whole affair with testosterone-driven nonchalance.
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tweeeeeet
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Blogshopping around and found this vid. It's so sophisticated, it's alluring. I swear! Watch it Watch it Watch it---
Once again I'm enervated to the max by all the messes in my life.
I hate my guts.
Do you too, do you.
Wouldn't it be great if I fall asleep one day and never have to wake up.
An eighteenth birthday is supposed to be iconic. But watching all my friends turn eighteen makes me feel that I'm not worthy to turn eighteen yet. I don't want to grow older like this. Sigh, and this is all kinda ironic because in the past we all can't wait to grow up, and now we just want events to proceed in reverse.
4.18pm.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Burning myself out real bad these few days. Sleeping is becoming more of a luxury, sigh.
Shouldn't have anticipated so badly the one more week extension that we wouldn't be getting.
Oh man I think I've been sleeping like 15 hours totalled till the 5th day now. School is starting and I'm so not prepared. My body clock is malfunctioning big time. Oh the anxiety.
9.07pm
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hahaha, currently vegetating in front of the comp setting the right words in this space.
It's all too exacerbating really that already the 4th and final week of our "break" is looming in, spelling back-to-school-doomsdays all over. Cliché maybe but time really files and many (including those that lagged too far behind like me) are curmudgeonly trying to cram all time possible to do revision, or just starting to revise. OH WELL price to pay for playing too hard! Aha but it's fine really, probability of getting an extended week due to the H1N1 epidemic is currently getting higher~
Sigh, while I'm hoping that I'd still have enough cash to tide over this strapped period (full of birthdays and gatherings and outings), it really dawned upon me on how much time is really remaining for us to spend on friends and family, with so much time being set aside for the dreadness that is the As... 4 months! gasps.
And it's not just the past but also present associates and kins that can't drive back melancholy feelings of not really being more appreciative of what's used to be. Especially now when we're always getting into throes of work, hardly getting any do-nothing time at all, you know, relax moments... Damn the cursed education system!
What I see myself in a few years' time....? No it's too faint. I can't imagine myself getting into the discipline of a university graduate (though that has to be the case otherwise I'm wasting my time here in JC), or even living an adult's cycle of work/eat/sleep. Please, too much of a robotic way of life. And it gets worse, when the realization of "we're not getting any younger" hits in, hinting that carefree days like right now would be even harder in the near future. Oh man, I don't really wanna grow up yo.
I'm glad I spent the holidays fruitful enough with days placed aside for hardcore fun. Because even establishing the fact that I'm no longer panicky that I'm going to turn eighteen soon (which also means more responsibility and more authority to handle), pretty soon I'd be hairless and enroll in the sanctuary of national service and I'd be having even lesser time for everything else..
Time. Let it past & you'd never get it back, sigh.
Alright, back to smorgasbords of books and papers, sigh. 4 months: I'd try not to disappoint, yes? I'm going to do well with those who're moving along with me: thanks guys especially F3 because they are becoming one of my most prominent reasons to be motivated. Love you guys.
As hard as I try I know I can't quit. I'd push on.
2.46pm
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
a bit of catch up: two chalets, bunch of birthday celebrations; west coast periods, missing school, low on cash, sick period (yeah wtefff), late nights watching cartoons, losing house keys during midnight jogging, outings. bbqs. dinners. lunches. playtime. helluva muggingxzxzxzxzxzxzxz, helluva slackingxzxzxzxzxzxzxz...& THE SAD TRUTH: HOLIDAYS GONNA END IN ABOUT 9 DAYS TIME
more time please more time.
10.07pm
Monday, June 8, 2009
so it's official. it's only a week and i've already burned out.how am i going to last through the holidays in this kind of state?
i really need a time-out.
1.18pm
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